I Admit that I am Wrong
The doctor who was brought over was a very experienced and knowledgeable physician. He had even studied abroad for many years and had seen many similar cases. But, this was the first time he had ever seen someone hurt to such a degree. His thick brows bunched up into a frown as signs of astonishment and doubt settled on his face. He looked at the wound for a bit then narrowed his eye and averted his gaze toward Gu Hai. A second later, his eyes returned to the wound before ended up on Gu Hai again—not a single word was exchanged during this process.
Gu Hai became anxious, “Doctor, how is he?”
“It’s fine, it’s only a superficial wound.”
Unable to relax his worried heart, Gu Hai pulled the doctor over to him: “There won’t be any permanent damages right?”
“This…” the doctor seemed troubled. “It’s best not to let this happen a second time.”
What the doctor meant was that it was best not to use this kind of rough method a second time, however, Gu Hai had misunderstood and took it as he cannot do this type of thing anymore. His face immediately darkened, buried underneath the somber darkness of those words. But, at this point in time, he could not even spare a moment to think about it.
Bai Luo Yin was critically wounded. More importantly, how can he help him get better as soon as possible is…
“Doctor, if it’s just a superficial wound, how could he have fainted?”
The doctor looked sympathetically at Bai Luo Yin and sighed. “You’re asking how could he have fainted…? Of course, it’s due to the pain.”
Once he heard that particular word, pain, Gu Hai’s lips went pale. “Does it…does it hurt that much?”
The doctor patiently explained, “The tissues surrounding the anus possess an abundance of nerve endings, the majority of which, are directly connected to the spinal cord where pain and other sensations are communicated and or perceived. It’s also highly populated with blood vessels. Therefore, this area is more susceptible to pain. You should go and visit the hospital rooms for patients that had undergone a hemorrhoid surgery. Just go, take a look. Healthy and strong men like you, each and every single one of them, would wail like a ghost and howl like wolves. I’m not trying to scare you, but this kind of pain exceeds an average person endurance limitation.”
Gu Hai stood still as his stature stiffened like a wooden stake. With an ironclad face, he tried to calculate the time…
How long did I do it? Twenty minutes? Half an hour? Or… an hour?
As Gu Hai called that moment, regrets welled up in his heart at the sight of Bail Luo Yin’s distorted face. He truly wished he could hack himself into thousands of pieces.
“Help me hold him down. I have to treat his wound first,” the doctor said.
Gu Hai returned to his senses and quickly went to wash his hands. When he came back, he did as the doctor instructed and held down Bai Luo Yin’s waist before the doctor carefully parted his butt.
Gu Hai did not dare to look any closer since he knew how grave the situation was with just a glance at the doctor’s expression.
“If he struggles, you have to hold him down firmly to avoid getting cut by these instruments.”
Gu Hai’s expression changed, “What… he’s already unconscious, how can he struggle?”
Once again the doctor said a string of painful words struck Gu Hai severely. He would rather be dead than breathe a second longer.
“He will most likely wake up from the pain.”
Surely enough, when the doctor used a speculum to slightly expanded the rectum in order to sterilize the rectal lining, Bai Luo Yin’s suddenly moved. His eyes had yet to crack open when his fingers curled tightly together into a fist as pain crawled mercilessly onto every inch of his body, leaving him in sweat.
The pain in Gu Hai’s heart heightened as he faced the doctor and roared: “Can’t you be a bit more gentle? Are you here to help stop the pain or to kill him?”
The doctor was older and being yelled at by a kid certainly did not make him feel good.
“Let me tell you, this process still has to be done no matter which doctor comes. If you think I’m not treating him well enough, you can get someone else right now.”
After his burst of struggle, Bai Luo Yin lost consciousness again from fatigue.
With a pale face void of all color, Gu Hai peered down at Bai Luo Yin one last time and held him down. Then he signaled for the doctor to continue. This process continued for about five minutes with the doctor trying his best to lessen the movements and be more gentle, but this only meant that Bai Luo Yin had to suffer even longer.
Throughout this process, Bai Luo Yin became conscious about four or five times, each time, he writhed and swayed pain. All Gu Hai could do was hold him down and even if he could not hold him down, he still forced himself to until Bai Luo Yin fainted again. Afterward, he would wake up once more. It went on before the doctor said that it was done…
It was the same as experiencing damnation in purgatory for the first time.
Gu Hai’s eyes welled up with tears as he tried with all his might to hold them back, however, they flowed down with the sweat that covered his face while his chest remained in an everlasting tightened state—it was a heart-wrenching and unusual sight.
Several times, the doctor could not help but glance at Gu Hai.
How can this kid be so weak and fragile when he looks so strong. The wounded person hasn’t even cried as bad as this yet… but look at you, you don’t even look human anymore sobbing like this.
If you had known it was going to be like this, why did you do it?
“Okay, that’s enough. I was just scaring you just now so that you’d learn a lesson. Since his body is quite weak, he’ll be more sensitive to pain. It’s fine, such a big kid like him won’t die from pain! But you, you have to keep this in your memory, don’t make such stupid mistakes again next time!”
Afterward, he attached an IV drip to Bai Luo Yin and instructed Gu Hai: “For the next few days, don’t let him eat anything. There are severe damages to the inner lining of the rectum so any bowel movements can cause it to easily be infected. I’ve put him on an IV drip for now. That should give him enough energy to go about with his daily activities. Everything else must be avoided.”
Gu Hai nodded.
After a while, a nurse brought in medicines, the majority of which were topical applications and some oral ones, all of which had instructions written on the package. The doctor proceeded to pass the medicines, along with his contact information over to Gu Hai, informing him to contact him if anything peculiar occur. Not long after, he rushed out, leaving the nurse behind to take care of the patient since he needed to attend other places.
When the infusion of the nutrient within the IV bag was completed, the nurse prepared to take her leave. But Gu Hai immediately stopped the nurse when he noticed that Bai Luo Yin had a fever. The nurse quickly measured Bai Luo Yin’s temperature only to find that it was higher than usual, and with that, she called the doctor who hurried back. He gave Bai Luo Yin some antipyretic medications to help reduce his fever and instructed Gu Hai to not let Bai Luo Yin get cold—in other words, keep him nice and cozy. By the time he left, it was already quite late.
Gu Hai tightly held onto Bai Luo Yin with his naked body underneath two thick cotton comforters over. This way, he can directly feel Bai Luo Yin’s body temperature and warm up the bed.
Soon, both of them sweated profusely throughout the night until Gu Hai sensed that Bai Luo Yin’s temperature lowered.
In the morning, Gu Hai called for someone to bring new bed sheets and comforters to replace the dampened ones.
The doctor came to check up again, gave a few more instructions, then left immediately after. The nurse put another IV drip on Bai Luo Yin and left once she was done.
Bai Luo Yin finally woke up around noontime.
Before this, Gu Hai had yet to drink even a drop of water and had remained at the bedside, neither moving or making a sound the entire time—even the skin underneath his eyes was dark.
He mentally called out to Bai Luo Yin to quickly wake up. But at the same time, he was afraid that once those dark eyes opened… he was afraid that he will tell him to leave… afraid that he will not be able to atone for his despicable crime.
However, Bai Luo Yin did not hold any feelings, except for one. Pain. That was what he felt when his eyes opened.
Why was it so painful?
From the top of his head to the sole of his feet, from within his bones to the surface of his skin, every inch of his entire body cried pain.
Within these twenty-something hours, it was like he had experienced the cycle of reincarnation.
The scene from that time reached out for him, trying to pulling to drown him. He did not dare to remember any of it, he did not dare to think. He would rather believe that it was all a dream… just a dream. But now, the person that caused this nightmare was lying beside him.
Those lifeless, bloodshot eyes looked him up and down.
“You’re awake?” Gu Hai tried to touch Bai Luo Yin’s shoulder, “Do you feel a little better?”
“Don’t touch me!”
It was as expected. Bai Luo Yin was especially afraid of anyone touching him.
His entire body felt as if it was covered in wounds and not even a single spot, a single pore was left unwounded. He did not want to be touched anywhere as even the nerves on his face cried out in pain when he spoke this loud.
Bai Luo Yin continued to lie on the bed with his face turned toward Gu Hai and his eyes fixated on him. After a long while in that position, his neck began to ache so he turned his head to the other side with much difficulty—a humming sound goes off in his head.
From the time Bai Luo Yin stopped him to the moment he turned his head to the other side, Gu Hai watched him attentively. He absorbed every detail of his actions into his brain as if it was all he could do.
Gu Hai knew that Bai Luo Yin was using these manners to express his contempt toward him. Even though he had prepared his heart for this… it was different, nonetheless. Having this scene really materialize right in front him, Gu Hai’s heart tightened and twisted in all directions.
“I know… you want me to disappear from your sight. I admit, I regret it now. You have the right to choose who you like, who you love… the right to experience a love that I might not like, the right to go abroad… it was me who stubbornly believed that I was right… it was me who selfishly wanted to keep you here. If I had known you would suffer so much, endure so much… I would have not done it even if I was beaten to death! I would rather she lied to you. Even if you were to get hurt in the future, at the very least, I wouldn’t have to see it…”
“When you feel better, if you want to kick me down from this floor, I won’t even refuse or protest. But right now, please let me stay here. You also don’t wish for anyone else to see you injured like this, right?”
“I’ve destroyed all of your dignity in front of her… it must have been difficult to accept, right? I don’t want to reopen your wounds again, but there is no need for you to take it to heart. Really, how can a person like her, who is willing to degrade herself and fool around with others know what dignity is? Of course, I am not trying to find an excuse for myself. It was just that I don’t want you to take things to heart and be depressed.”
“Yin Zi, when you’re better, you can stab me a few times.”
After what seemed like a millennium, Bai Luo Yin was no longer able to endure all the sound and spoke. “Can you not talk anymore?”
His entire body felt sore. His spirit was extremely tired, so tired that all he wanted was some peace and quiet. But since he opened his eyes, this person babbled on endlessly right beside him, making his brain feel as though it was about to explode. A desolate void had taken over his head, all he felt was the emptiness swirling. His body was already at its limit, and he did not have the energy to think about those questions.
“Why won’t you let me talk?” Gu Hai still insisted.
Bai Luo Yin, “I’m annoyed.”
Gu Hai did not utter another word as he lied beside Bai Luo Yin and quietly watched him without letting his eyes be led astray.
Before long, Bai Luo Yin fell asleep again and woke up about two hours later, feeling somewhat more energetic even though his body was still aching.
When Gu Hai saw him, he took the initiative to get off the bed and made his way to the windows. He was afraid that Bai Luo Yin did not turn his head toward him because he was avoiding him. Or perhaps, if he did turn, his neck would ache once more.
In reality, Bai Luo Yin did not think too much of anything. He was willing to comply with anything as long as his neck was comfortable since all his movements were influenced by how his body was feeling.
“I’m a bit hungry,” Bai Luo Yin managed to squeeze out in between the pain.
Gu Hai vaguely heard Bai Luo Yin said something to him as he swiftly turned around with a look of surprise.
“What did you say?”
Bai Luo Yin opened his mouth again, “Is there anything to eat?”
The smile on Gu Hai’s face gradually faded as sadness replaced it.
It was already difficult to get him to talk to me, it was already difficult for him to demand something of me… it was already difficult for me to finally be able to do something for him, but who would have thought that it was because… he wanted to eat.
“There’s nothing?” Bai Luo Yin licked his lips up and down.
Gu Hai steadily turned his head away, afraid to look at the expression on Bai Luo Yin’s face. He did not dare to look, “The doctor said you can’t eat yet.”
“Oh, I can’t eat…” Bai Luo Yin muttered listlessly.
Gu Hai softly consoled him, “Don’t worry. I’m here with you. If you don’t eat, I won’t eat either. We can be on IV drips together. Before you can eat, I absolutely will not touch any food.”
Bai Luo Yin was about to say that he had gone insane… but then he saw that Gu Hai had gathered all the food in the house and flung it out of the window without any hesitation.