A step FURTHER in UNDERSTANDING YOU
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Bai Luo Yin fell asleep soon after he had taken a bath. Perhaps it was due to the fact that exhaustion had sunk too deep into his skin and too harshly into his already weakened bones. Or perhaps, it was due to being mentally and physically worn out from the night’s pleasurable taste.
Taking advantage of Bai Luo Yin sound asleep, Gu Hai gently spread his butt cheeks apart to see the condition inside. Fortunately, it was only a minor swelling around that area and there was no trace of any other injury. He took the medicine that he had prepared beforehand and lightly smeared it on the swollen area. Feeling relieved, he finally laid his own fatigue body next to the form beside him.
As he looked at Bai Luo Yin sleeping face, he noticed how the rhythm of their breaths conformed with each other, creating a silent yet harmonious symphony. In that moment, an indescribable feeling stitched its way into the core of his soul, perpetually warming his heart. Those feelings of guilt and shame that has been oppressing his heart and mind into the pit of darkness, has weakened tremendously. Now, it has been replaced by a strong sense of self-pride and hopefulness about the days ahead.
This person has finally, in all senses……become a part of him. He belongs to him.
His heart and body has his name carved deeply and beautifully in it.
There was no longer any need for him to be afraid that some charming girl would sneakily cornered and take him away.
It was with this optimistic mentality that he continued to drown in as he laid there. In the end, he unexpectedly went as far as to pull Bai Luo Yin into his arm. Tightly yet gently, he embraced him, allowing the heat from their bodies to intermingle.
As he hugged Bai Luo Yin for the remaining of the night, a smile was silently painted on his lips, lulling him into slumber.
Early in the morning, when Bai Luo Yin woke up, Gu Hai’s obsidian eyes were already opened. He had been casting several surreptitious glances at him for about half an hour now.
“Does it still hurt?” asked Gu Hai.
Bai Luo Yin nonchalantly shifted in his position then turned away. Besides being a bit tired, he honestly didn’t feel anything else. Not even pain. Compared to the excruciating pain he felt after that unforgettable experience, this time around, the treatment was, to simply put, top of the line VIP. Thinking back to yesterday’s sexual entanglement, their love making scene, Bai Luo Yin was still slightly traumatized as an air of fear hovered in close proximity to him.
Later on, if he was to be played with in such a wild manner all the time, wouldn’t that mean, he’d never be able to free himself from his grasp, his control?
With just one glance at Bai Luo Yin’s expression, Gu Hai knew right away that he was not in any pain. This realization caused an overwhelming sense of self-esteem to crawl in and crowded his heart.
In this moment, he was extremely pleased with himself!
How about it? Still going to make it difficult for your husband? If I say I won’t let you feel any pain, then you definitely won’t feel any pain. What’s better, when you wake up the next day, even your energy has been revived. Later on, you should obediently satisfy your husband’s crotch, hahaha………
Bai Luo Yin was still in the midst of pondering through those recollections, when suddenly, two big hands like tiger’s claws seized his body and strongly held on to him in a rough embrace. Several sweet kisses landed on his face, leaving behind smooching sounds as it left its marks. Quickly, his lips were tightly sealed by Gu Hai’s own honey laced lips as it greedily and roughly sucked hard on it several times more. Once his lips were hot, moistened and weakened enough, it was left unattended. Gu Hai kissed his way toward his ears, neck……
His ‘spot’ there, has yet to sufficiently recuperate……yet this person was already hyped, showing off his liveliness in such a crazy appearance, even going so far as to pounce on him like a ravenous animal.
Finally, Bai Luo Yin’s hand roughly smashed into Gu Hai’s forehead. Summoning all the strength he had into his hand, he managed to push Gu Hai’s face five centimeters away.
“What are you doing?” Bai Luo Yin breathed out angrily, “Why are you being so crazy this early in the morning huh?”
Without warning, Gu Hai glued himself to Bai Luo Yin again. As if he wasn’t already close enough, he shamelessly stuck, stitched, plastered, his own face to Bai Luo Yin’ cheeks.
Seconds later, beaming with joy and excitement, he said, “I like you. The more I look at you, the more I like you. Why are you so charming, so attractive huh?”
A dark and sinister aura settled on Bai Luo Yin’s face, causing his brows to furrow before his fist flew towards Gu Hai’s stomach.
After they finished eating breakfast, Gu Hai looked at Bai Luo Yin and asked, “I have to go back home and get my residential booklet, do you want to go together with me?”
At first, Bai Luo Yin didn’t want to go over there since it was Gu Wei Ting and Jiang Yuan’s house. But, once he recalled that it was also the place where Gu Hai lived since he was a kid, as well as where Gu Hai’s memories were deeply buried, he became quite interested in that place.
A rather obvious smile penetrated Gu Hai’s eyes, “I made you feel good for only one night and now you can’t even be separated from me?”
Hostility immediately ate its way onto Bai Luo Yin’s sullen face. Without warning, he furiously lifted one of his leg, turned his body with great agility toward Gu Hai, who was caught off guard. He knocked him down face first and pressed him firmly on the sofa. Then, he quickly grabbed a nearby dusting brush. Gripping firmly on the brush, he ruthlessly smacked Gu Hai’s lower back and buttocks a few dozen times.
When they locked the door to the apartment, Gu Hai was still bitterly complaining, “Why are your hands so ruthless?”
Bai Luo Yin laughed even more, not paying any attention to what Gu Hai had just said.
When the car arrived at the villa within the military base and they got out of the car, their entire beings were enveloped by a kind of cold and cheerless serenity.
Bai Luo Yin cannot help but to take a quick glance at Gu Hai.
Gu Hai once happy and cheerful expression was now replaced with a stern and apathetic coldness.
A tightening, almost suffocating sensation, raced at full speed into Bai Luo Yin’s chest, provoking within him a feeling he couldn’t describe. All he knew, he felt was that, perhaps Gu Hai asked him to come along, not solely for the purpose of allowing him to see his home but even more so, he was seeking some sort of comfort.
With a key held steadily in his hand, Gu Hai unlocked the door, pushed it open allowing the two to enter together.
There was no one at home.
The interior decorations of the room were simple and unadorned yet elegant. Everything in the room has been placed in a neat and orderly manner, even the floor is polished to the point that it shined.
It looked as though no one ever lived there.
Although this kind of room was pleasant to look at, it easily gave off a kind of oppress and stifling feeling. Someone like Bai Luo Yin whose laid back and carefree, would feel uncomfortable staying here.
“Do you want to see my room?” asked Gu Hai.
Without replying, Bai Luo Yin directly followed Gu Hai inside.
This was a really neat and tidy room, so much so that, not even a single poster hung on the wall. The quilt was folded neatly into a square shape and the bed sheet was pulled tightly to the edge of the bed as to not allow any wrinkles to be seen. With such a room, it would cause anyone to think of the room that Gu Hai had lived at in the military dormitory.
Despite the fact that he had not returned here for a few months already, the room remained the same as it was before, neat. There was even a flower pot at the ledge of the window, emitting a faint yet sweet aroma.
It was evident and easily enough to perceive that someone came here everyday to clean up.
Gu Hai crouched down near the cabinet and flipped some things around in search of his residential booklet.
Unable to help with much, Bai Luo Yin walked around the room. He looked at the books on the bookcase; apart from some famous literary novels and reference books, the remaining were all comprised of military books.
At the upper level of the bookcase, there was a beautifully bound book sealed between the others. From the look of it, it didn’t seem like it belonged with the rest since it stood out so much. Bai Luo Yin brought it down for a look, it was only then did he discovered that it was a photo album.
Inside were several photos of Gu Hai from various stages of his life. There was even a picture of Gu Hai when he was just one hundred days old. It was hard to imagine, that he once had such innocence and pureness in his eyes. Soon after, he saw some photos of Gu Hai when he was teenager. It was a group picture of him with some kids from the military base. Standing amongst the group of kids, his domineering and aggressive demeanor was hard to miss; there were also photos of him with officers of all ranks and military troops; and ones with his brothers and comrades strolling around together on the streets……
Bai Luo Yin noticed that in all of Gu Hai’s photograph, whenever a photograph was taken, he only had one posture, one expression……that was, he was rather stiff and indifference in all of them. He couldn’t help but want to burst out laughing, however, he also felt a touch of sorrow carving its way toward the bottom of his heart.
He recalled that once, Gu Hai had told him, the him before was a very proper and serious person. At that time, Bai Luo Yin just snorted disdainfully. Now, after having seen these pictures, Bai Luo Yin unexpectedly found that it wasn’t so hard to imagine.
Perhaps, before he had known Gu Hai, Gu Hai was truly the type of person he said he was. His life was after all always enclosed with a sense of seriousness and stiffness. It was almost as if his soul was made from metal scraps and put together to form a whole being. His heart and the feelings that went along with it, had long become numb, and in turn, his character naturally gravitated towards a calmer psyche……
As he flipped through the pages of the album, Bai Luo Yin’s earthen eyes were fixated on one particular photo.
The Gu Hai in this photograph was probably around three or four years old. His little body leaned gently against a woman’s embrace, with a very well-behaved and obedient manner shrouding his entire appearance. The woman looked very dignified, the atmosphere around her full of gentleness. Her facial features were somewhat similar to those of Gu Hai’s. Bai Luo Yin guessed that she must be Gu Hai’s late mother.
Amongst all of the photos, this was the only one that showed Gu Hai smiling.
Staring at the photo, at the Gu Hai he’s never seen and the smile that graced his lips, Bai Luo Yin seemed as though he was still daydreaming. Then, without warning, the photo album was swiftly snatched from within his grasp.
“What are you recklessly looking at?” asked Gu Hai, pretending to be angry as he looked at Bai Luo Yin, “Did I give you permission to look at it?”
Bai Luo Yin didn’t say anything.
Gu Hai asked again, “I look extremely handsome don’t I?”
To that, Bai Luo Yin only replied back with two words, “Extremely stupid!”
Laughter finally found its way into Gu Hai’s voice as he placed the photo album back on the bookcase.
“Did you find the residential booklet?”
Gu Hai waved the brown booklet in his hand around, “Right here.”
“Then, let’s go,” said Bai Luo Yin as he pushed the bedroom door open.
Gu Hai hesitated for a moment before he faintly said, “I want to go to my mother’s room.”
Bai Luo Yin could only nod his head understandingly, “Okay, I’ll wait for you outside.”
He then took the booklet from Gu Hai’s hand and watched as he disappeared into his mother’s room. Right after, the door closed in front of him. Suddenly, there was an abrupt change in Bai Luo Yin’s mood; it became somewhat serious. Perhaps, it was because he could sense the sorrow and desolate atmosphere that emitted from the room.
From the start, Gu Hai had never taken the initiative to mention his mother to him at all. Bai Luo Yin only knew that his mother had already passed away, but as far as when she passed away or how she passed away, Bai Luo Yin was completely in the dark. Yet, contrariwise, in regard to his family matters, Gu Hai understood it all as clear as day. And often, Gu Hai took the role as the person to comfort him. Despite the fact that he was the one who actually needed to be comfort.
Now, Bai Luo Yin could clearly sense, even feel it in his now tightened chest, that the pain Gu Hai suffered was even more bitter and harsh than his own. He, himself, had merely never experience a mother’s love and affection, but his mother is still alive and around. He can still see her whenever he wants.
However, Gu Hai has long been stripped off, torn cruelly away from that world full of warmth. Those once brightly lit days has fallen into a pitch black night. And alone he sat it in.
With somewhat of a melancholy expression staining his face, step by step Bai Luo Yin made his way downstairs. He wanted nothing more than to give Gu Hai and his mother some space, one encased with peace and quiet.
When he arrived down the stairs, near the living room, the door suddenly opened, a beautiful silhouette walked in.
Jiang Yuan looked at Bai Luo Yin for a brief moment and a second later, her dark and gloomy face brightened up bringing out her youthful appearance. It was as if, she had completely forgotten those disrespect words that her son had said to her before. There was nothing else but happiness welling up in her heart as she looked at Bai Luo Yin with warm and caring eyes.
“Luo Yin, why are you here?”
Bai Luo Yin indifferently replied back, “Gu Hai said he needed to get his residential booklet, so I came along with him.”
“Oh, his residential booklet! It’s in the second drawer of his cabinet. It’s placed between a book there. I’ll go take a look,” informed Jiang Yuan as she struck a posture signifying that she was going to head upstairs.
Bai Luo Yin stopped Jiang Yuan, “He found it already.”
Jiang Yuan stopped in place, then a smile graced her lips, “It’s good that he found it then.”
Bai Luo Yin didn’t say anything else.
Jiang Yuan gazed at Bai Luo Yin before inquiring, “How about staying here for lunch?”
“No, Gu Hai will be out any moment now and we’re going to head out.’
After saying that, Bai Luo Yin headed straight out the door.
The car was parked at the gateway. Bai Luo Yin sat inside and waited for Gu Hai. He casually looked toward the villa, through the French-style window, and into the room. Jiang Yuan’s shadow was swaying back and forth around the spacious room; sometimes it was clear and sometimes it was a blur.
From her appearance, it looked as though she had more or less completed her tasks. Then, she sat down at a table near a window for a moment. She calmly and quietly sat there, staring at the world outside. He wasn’t able to distinguish the expression on her face.
Bai Luo Yin couldn’t help but to guess: What does she do everyday? Could it be, that apart from tidying up those huge rooms, she sat there like that all day? Isn’t she bored? Isn’t it meaningless? Or could it be that as long as those high price furniture and decorations were in front of her eyes, nothing else mattered?
Jiang Yuan leaving Bai Han Qi to marry Gu Wei Ting, had always made Bai Luo Yin felt that she loves money and power. But, now looking at her sitting alone like that in this empty and desolate house, he suddenly felt differently about things.
If Jiang Yuan really wanted to pursue a lavish lifestyle, why didn’t she just approach a rich chief executive officer? Why would she choose a soldier? How could a woman whose selfish yet intelligent like her not know the hardship of being the wife of a military general?
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