The YOUNG MARRIED COUPLE BANTERS
Translate: Sae | Edit: Alec
“Hey? How did you get here from over there?” Bai Luo Yin’s bemused eyes captured Gu Hai’s tall figure marching towards him from the opposite side of the street. As those seemingly pugnacious steps moved in closer, the strong bellicose aura percolating throughout the atmosphere around him could jar with that of the bustling and boisterous crowds scuttling about.
The anxiety had long engulfed Gu Hai, completely detaining his brain, rendering any logical thought impossible. His lips, once the lovely hue of terra cotta and carnelian, were now a silent purple from the disquietness that was conceived within his heart the moment Bai Luo Yin’s presence vanished from just a few minutes of his own negligence. But now that the missing person stood before him, holding a stick of tanghulu, gaily savoring the sweet taste to the point that the side of his lips were kissed with sugar, how can his heart and mind not burn with rage?
Keeping his eyes on him, he walked over and bellowed out, “Where the fuck did you run off to?”
Bai Luo Yin’s face immediately tensed up and even the bright smile that once adorned his lips waned. “I went to buy two tanghulus.”
Having said that, he passed the remaining uneaten stick of tanghulu over to Gu Hai.
Gu Hai refused to take it, letting his eyes imprison Bai Luo Yin’s instead. He maintained a darkened face and asked, “Why didn’t you at least say something to me when you went to buy the tanghulu? Do you know how worried sick I was?”
A watchful silence besieged the space between them before anger recalcitrantly charged into Bai Luo Yin’s head. “I did tell you! You’re the one that didn’t hear it!”
“If you had properly told me, wouldn’t I have heard it?” Gu Hai said with imperious aggression that invited his voice to rise. “Couldn’t you wait until I came out so that we could go get it together? What the hell, would you have died from the craving if you ate a bit later?”
The stick in Bai Luo Yin’s hand that was still stretched out towards Gu Hai suddenly dropped to the ground with a thud. Before long, the remaining pieces of tanghulu were also smashed on the ground beneath their feet. A thunderous roar then rang out amongst the raucous laughter passing by them.
“Fine! See if I fucking give a shit if you get to eat any or not!!”
Bai Luo Yin seethed, then he quickly calmed himself down, turned around and walked away!
With haste, Gu Hai forcibly grabbed the hem of Bai Luo Yin’s shirt, but the other lad took to ruthlessly shaking it off instead. When Gu Hai grabbed again, Bai Luo Yin also shook it away once more. The two that were talking and laughing on the street just a moment ago were now tearing each other apart. After a few more seconds of pushing and pulling, the pressure of a raging sea of anger forced Bai Luo Yin’s sturdy fist to brutally land on Gu Hai’s face. As the saying goes, you can hit the person but not his face. Gu Hai’s mind darkened like that of a gathering storm clouds. As anger afflicted his chest, he picked up his feet and kicked Bai Luo Yin’s ass.
Fine, fuck it!!
That kick was the breaking point of his patients which had completely drawn out all of young master Bai’s wrath. This time, there was no use in saying anything else. He was blinded by a five-course serving of wrath that tasted bitter yet unsurprisingly sour. Bai Luo Yin’s face erupted to a dark shade, black like the bottom of a pot that had burned for too long. He marched off, flagged down a taxi and left.
Gu Hai stood on the street, fuming with rage between gritted teeth as he watched the taxi gradually disappeared into the sea of cars. How big of a deal was it? Just because of a stick of tanghulu, the two had torn at each other furiously. It was true, a harmonious relationship was not something that could be truly nurtured overnight or even a short period of time.
Lifting his head to squint up at the sky in an attempt to catch a glimpse of color, Gu Hai then closed his eyes and let out a few heavy breaths. Just as he was about to return, he suddenly saw the small shop that sold tanghulu. As it turns out, it was just one corner away. With just one look, there was still a rabble of noisy, excited customers inside.
It must’ve also been crowded when he was queuing to pay too, huh? Isn’t he normally unhappy about being in the crowd?
He turned around to glance at the fallen tanghulu on the ground. Thinking about it, a sense of regret and distress subconsciously formed in his chest, gripping it just a bit. Glancing once more, he turned, went in the shop to buy a few sticks of tanghulus, then carried it back to their rented apartment.
Having returned earlier, Bai Luo Yin was now in the bedroom processing his thoughts. The bags of goods that he had previously purchased with Gu Hai and brought back with him were thrown at the front doorway unattended.
Once Gu Hai entered through the door, the floor near his feet was stacked with bags that had been lying there for a long while now. He first tidied them up in an orderly manner then picked up a stick of tanghulu and stood rooted at the bedroom doorway. Just as he cleared his throat, he was met with the back of Bai Luo Yin’s eerie figure. Without seeing the expression that lined his face, one could make out the gloominess that exuded from his body. Even after hearing Gu Hai’s voice, he did not turn his head around.
When Gu Hai sauntered into the room and placed his hand on Bai Luo Yin’s shoulder, he was immediately answered with a ‘fuck off.’ Undeterred by that expected reaction, Gu Hai playfully stretched out his hand, holding the stick of tanghulu in front of Bai Luo Yin. But Bai Luo Yin unswervingly flung his hand back.
“You’re really angry?”
At those words, a sense of coldness licked at Bai Luo Yin’s tongue and crept into his voice, spreading across his skin like the icy tide on a frigid winter beach.
“It’s not fucking worth it!!”
“Do you have to go that far? Isn’t it because of a tanghulu, huh? Besides, you’re the one that smashed it to the ground yourself. Look, didn’t I buy it back for you? If it’s not enough, there’s more in the other room.”
Bai Luo Yin’s brows drew close as anger boiled deep in his system. It churned within his mind, making it nearly impossible for him to control himself.
“It has nothing to do with the tanghulu at all!”
“Then what’s the reason? Because I’m terrible to you? Tell me yourself, aren’t you to blame for today’s situation? If it was any other time, it wouldn’t have mattered as much but what’s happening now, huh? If you couldn’t find me, wouldn’t you be anxious?”
Bai Luo Yin deliberately maintained a strong-minded attitude, “I won’t be anxious!”
Gu Hai knew full well that Bai Luo Yin’s harsh words were said in a moment of anger. He proceeded to point at his own face and said accusingly, “Look here, look at the punch that you gave me, it’s already bluish green. Is there anyone out there that punch a person like you? Who am I for you to hit me however you want?”
Keeping his eyes on him, Bai Luo Yin’s foreboding eyes pressed at the person in front of him, “Didn’t you also kick me?”
“Where? I didn’t use any strength at all!”
“Whether there was strength in it or not, you’d know?”
“See! And you still have the nerve to say you’re not angry!” Gu Hai reached out and pinched Bai Luo Yin’s cheeks before teasing him, “Did that kick really hurt that much? Let me look at it. I want to see if you’re bruised or not.”
“Fuck off!” said Bai Luo Yin in a sulky tone of a querulous child. His mood seemed to have ricocheted between low and…lower.
Gu Hai gave him a warm glance and as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips, he jauntily picked up the tanghulu and took a bite of it. He glanced again and praised the sweetness in his mouth. “The taste is really good. You don’t want a bite?” He passed the stick towards the side of Bai Luo Yin’s mouth.
The entire time, Bai Luo Yin simply ignored the pea-brained jerk.
Gu Hai pulled his hand back and rubbed the stick of tanghulu along his own lip again, then took a bite, savoring the sugar that glued to his mouth. “Yeah, it’s sweet and crunchy.”
This behavior immediately made Bai Luo Yin think that there was a mentally disturbed child standing beside him.
Still in his own world, Gu Hai ate several more pieces until there were only two remaining. He waved it back and forth in front of Bai Luo Yin again in an attempt to lure his aching taste buds. Then he asked, “You really don’t want any? If you don’t eat it now, there won’t be any later.”
“I already said I won’t eat it, so I won’t.” Bai Luo Yin roughly vocalized that sentence.
“I’m going to fucking make you take a bite of it today!”
Immediately after saying that, he bit a whole piece of the sweetened fruit off, pulled it off the stick and, let it hang loosely between lips. Then he grabbed Bai Luo Yin’s head with both his hands and attempted to press it into his mouth. Bai Luo Yin shifted left and right, trying to dodge the invading attacks but to no avail. After a while, the constant rubbing caused his lips to be covered in a thick messy layer of sugar, bullying his mouth to break open.
Half of the tanghulu and someone’s mischievous tongue charged in at the same time, allowing the sweet taste to pervade every corner of his mouth. It was a sloppy attempt, but nonetheless, a kiss was a kiss. As Bai Luo Yin chewed on the tanghulu, he deliberately bit on Gu Hai’s roaming tongue. The painful sensation shocked Gu Hai, forcing him to withdraw his playful tongue. Instead of retreating, a slight smirk appeared on his face instead. He slowly licked the sugars that clung at the side of Bai Luo Yin’s mouth, bit by bit, until it was clean.
In this simple yet endearing manner, the two quickly reconciled and gathered in the kitchen to prepare a magnificent dinner.
Gu Hai cut and sliced the vegetables to perfection and allowed them to pile up on the cutting board. He stopped his own task for a moment and glanced to the side. Bai Luo Yin was in the middle of washing a cucumber ah……his hand was firmly gripping the cucumber, rubbing it up and down, up and down. As Gu Hai continued to keep an attentive gaze on the movements of Bai Luo Yin’s hands, deadly flames immediately began to flare up in his heart and surround the space within his chest, provoking tendrils of smoke to desperately escape his burning body.
“It won’t be clean if you wash it like that.” Gu Hai warned him from the side while averting his eyes.
Bai Luo Yin responded with a few words, “Then how should it be washed so that it’ll be clean?”
“Bring it over here, I’ll show you.”
When Bai Luo Yin complied and passed the cucumber over, Gu Hai immediately put the end of it into his mouth without hesitation. First, he slowly extended the tip of his pale pink tongue and sensually licked it for a while. Then, he pushed the cucumber halfway into his mouth before pulling it in and out in a slow tantalizing manner. All the while, his wicked eyes bled out with an irresistible sense of eroticism and sexual innuendo as he glanced at Bai Luo Yin from time to time.
Bai Luo Yin, on the other hand, has had enough with Gu Hai’s wickedness. Looking at Gu Hai’s unruffled appearance, he immediately snatched the slobbered cucumber away from his mouth and went to pull his pants down. Handling the stolen fruit as a formidable weapon, he used it to poke that restless ‘little chrysanthemum’ down below.
Caught off guard, it was too late for Gu Hai to evade the incoming assault. He was nearly captured by the suddenness of it. But fortunately, he was able to force enough strength into his hand to intercept the cucumber at his tailbone. After his thrilling escape from that dangerous situation, he saw Bai Luo Yin toss the cucumber in the trash can. Even then he had the nerve to complain begrudgingly.
“Why did you throw it away?”
“There’s saliva all over it now. If it shouldn’t be thrown out, who are you trying to disgust with it?”
Gu Hai scoffed and jokingly said, “You think I’m dirty? When I fed you mouth to mouth, was it not enough, hmm?”
A gentle flush of pink tinged Bai Luo Yin’s cheeks, making him look vulnerable and bashful. He kept silent and washed the remaining vegetables.
Noting the warm aura that encased the tranquil space between them, Gu Hai gently embraced Bai Luo Yin’s waist from behind and carefully rest his chin on his firm shoulder. His voice then softened with a touch of sweetness as he spoke.
“When are you going to cook a meal for me?”
“Don’t even think about it. That day will never come.”
Gu Hai instantly cried out in grievance, “Isn’t it obvious that you’re bullying me? Just exactly how have I served you, huh?”
“No one forced you to.”
Slightly pouting first, Gu Hai then bitterly bit Bai Luo Yin’s ear. His tongue danced out and licked the outer rim several times before tracing circles along the inside. These enticing movements caused the rhythm of Bai Luo Yin’s hands to immediately spiral into chaos.
“Hey, I bought sex toys. After dinner, the two of us can play,” said Gu Hai seductively as his hot breath fanned out on the side Bai Luo Yin’s neck, leaving behind a warm sensation that tickled the sensitive skin.
Bai Luo Yin’s body stiffened as he turned around to look at Gu Hai. His teeth ground against each other creating a creaking sound. “You really……!! I’m not playing. If you’re dying to, then go play with it by yourself!!”
“It’s really interesting!” Gu Hai persistently incited.
In the end, finding it impossible to resist the enticement, Bai Luo Yin asked out of curiosity, “What did you buy? Let me see it first.”
“Tsk tsk……” A devious smile played on Gu Hai’s lips, “Who said he didn’t want to play a moment ago?”
“Let me see it first!”
Seeing the slight frustration in Bai Luo Yin’s narrowed eyes, Gu Hai continued to smile shamelessly. “We’ll talk about it again later. If I take it out now, I’m afraid we’ll just end up playing with it right away. If that happens, even our meal won’t be as good anymore.”
Since Gu Hai said it like that, Bai Luo Yin’s mind became even more uncertain. As a result, when Gu Hai was diligently cooking in his own world, Bai Luo Yin sneakily made use of the opportunity to enter the bedroom. Making sure not to create too much noise, he incessantly flipped through everything in search of these mysterious items. In the wardrobe, on the bookcase, the drawers of their small studying table, beneath the pillows……all the places that could be used to hide something, he combed through them high and low. Unexpectedly, he still could not find any suspicious item.
“Baobei, it’s time to eat.” Gu Hai shouted loudly from outside of the bedroom.
Fruitless in his search, Bai Luo Yin was forced to drop his investigation.
Today was Xiao Nian, a festive day that not only everyone from old to young heartily celebrated but they also seek to eliminate their misfortune and any lingering illness during the holiday. With a positive mindset, the two decided to have a drink.
Before having their meal, they had agreed to only have one drink, and in no condition, should they have more than that. But, once the liquor ravaged their throats and the words flowed out of their thirsty mouths, the more imbued they were with excitement. Another sour and vile taste slipped into their mouths, slowly intoxicating them but it was not enough to steal away reality. In just the blink of an eye, another cup of liquor streamed smoothly into their awaiting stomachs. Gu Hai deliberately poured more for Bai Luo Yin and as that cup flowed to the brim, his own was also filled.
Once Bai Luo Yin drank, especially if he has one too many, he would definitely become a silly fool. Gu Hai had assiduously sought out all the chances that he could find to put more liquor towards Bai Luo Yin’s lips so that he could see this moment of silliness.
In no time, the two slumped sideways on the sofa. Staring straight ahead, Bai Luo Yin looked at his own flushed face through the small mirror sitting silently on the tea table in front of them. Thinking that he must have caught some sort of sickness, he buried his head into Gu Hai’s shoulder and rubbed against it incessantly. After finishing, he took another look at himself. It was even redder than before.
“It looks strange.” Bai Luo Yin mumbled almost incoherently.
Although Gu Hai’s mind has already been devoured by intoxication, his body was still wide awake. His fingers crawled out and sternly gripped Bai Luo Yin’s shirt, pulling him so close that their face nearly collided.
“Nothing’s going to happen if you rub there. You have to rub here.” As he said that, he pointed down towards his own crotch.
Within just seconds of him saying that Bai Luo Yin’s head instantly fell, like an iron ball crashing on Gu Hai’s idle penis, causing him to wail. Afterward, Bai Luo Yin turned his face halfway to the side and stole a glance at Gu Hai before laughing to the point his sides ached.
“Have a taste, it’s very delicious.” Undeterred, Gu Hai fished his large penis out and placed it at Bai Luo Yin’s mouth.
Bai Luo Yin instead groaned coldly and twisted his face to the other side so that the back of his head was facing Xiao Hai Zi.
Gu Hai suddenly remembered something and pulled Bai Luo Yin up. “That’s right! We haven’t played with the sex toys I bought yet!!”
The moment Bai Luo Yin heard this, his spirit energetically rushed back into his body, dragging a bit of his soberness back. He straightened his back and sat upright in a rather obedient manner while facing Gu Hai.
“Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and go get it. Huuurrrrryyyyy!”