The Commoner Becomes an Emperor
Translate: Sae | Edit: BambiKill5 & Nancy
When Bai Luo Yin went back to his dorm a day before he was scheduled to return to his unit, Gu Hai naturally accompanied him. Somehow, this visit was significantly different from the previous two. Without seeking Bai Luo Yin’s permission, Gu Hai entered the room and adopted the attitude of a young master. All the while, he took it upon himself to shoo the rightful owner out.
Honestly, Gu Hai was not making himself out to be someone of great importance, he simply believed that Bai Luo Yin’s room was not a place that one could live in.
Like a military orderly, Gu Hai turned the room inside out and cleaned everything at least once. When Bai Luo Yin attempted to get involved, he was scolded instead. “You can stay over there! There’s nothing for you to do over here.”
With that, Bai Luo Yin could only stand outside and foolishly watch as Gu Hai threw away all the things that he considered to be treasures.
“Hey! Let me tell you, Xiao Wu Xin bought that humidifier for me just before the end of the year.”
It would have been better if those words have not been said since Gu Hai, at most, would only have thrown it out. But after he said it, the item was immediately smashed on the ground.
“Even the ashtray?” Bai Luo Yin questioned as he walked over and regrettably picked it up from the ground.
Gu Hai leaned against the doorframe and looked at Bai Luo Yin with an overcast expression. “Throw that away, now!”
Still fucking holding on to it as if it’s a treasure. Seriously, what kind of life did he live for the past eight years?!
While Bai Luo Yin stood outside the door, some soldiers and officers would pass by the corridor from time to time, and some would even greet him, making him feel as though he had lost face. Whether good or bad, he was still a battalion commander in charge of several hundreds of people. But now, because of his sanitary problems, he was being scolded by a civilian and had no strength at all to counter him.
By the time Gu Hai was nearly done tidying everything up, Bai Luo Yin entered the room only to see Gu Hai rolling up his blanket.
“You’re throwing away the blanket as well?” Bai Luo Yin said, stopping him.
“What’s the point of waiting when we can just throw it out?” Gu Hai kept a calm demeanor. “Touch it yourself, can’t you feel how damp it is? Aren’t you afraid of lice covering your body if you sleep with this on you?”
When Bai Luo Yin touched it, it was indeed rather damp. Why didn’t I feel it before?
“It’s not necessary to throw away the woven mat,81 right?” Bai Luo Yin asked once he noticed that Gu Hai had removed the mat from the bed planks.
Gu Hai stopped and shot Bai Luo Yin a glance. “Don’t even mention the mat, I have to change this bed too!”
“This is army property. It can’t be thrown away just because you say so!”
In the end, even Bai Luo Yin—a soldier with the rank of Major—lost all prestige in front of his man.
As those words trickled into Gu Hai’s ears, his expression did not change in the slightest, instead, he used his fist to jab Bai Luo Yin’s forehead.
“You should be ecstatic that I got someone to take these things away. If I had my way, the wooden bed would have been dragged to the training ground so that everyone can see what a pitiful lifestyle their commander has. The bed has been slept on until it’s moldy, yet he still has the nerve to not change it!”
“Became moldy? Where?” Bai Luo Yin moved in for a closer look.
By now, Gu Hai was no longer willing to respond to Bai Luo Yin’s objections. He simply picked up the pillow and faced the pile of ‘trash’ behind him.
Seeing that, Bai Luo Yin scrambled to snatch it away.
“Don’t you fucking dare throw this pillow away!”
Those words caused Gu Hai to halt his actions for a moment before he stretched his hand toward Bai Luo Yin, and said: “Give it back to me!”
Bai Luo Yin shoved the pillow beneath his armpit with a particularly stern manner. “This pillow has been with me for many years now. I have a real sentimental attachment to it.”
When Gu Hai looked at that pitch-black pillowcase, he truly felt sorry for making it difficult on Bai Luo Yin.
Since you have a sentimental attachment to it, at the very least wash it, okay?
That damaged pillowcase would not even qualify to be used as a cleaning rag at the communal lavatory.
“Give it here!” Gu Hai’s attitude was also quite unyielding.
Bai Luo Yin’s brows tightened as he glared at him. “Gu Hai, don’t fucking start shit!”
“I’ll start all the shit I want!”
As those words percolated the room, Gu Hai rushed to snatch the pillow from Bai Luo Yin.
Bai Luo Yin dodged left and right, leading him to fight with Gu Hai over a simple pillow.
At first, Gu Hai was already exasperated over Bai Luo Yin’s poor living environment so out of kindness, he wanted to help him tidy things up. But in turn, this guy didn’t even know how to repent and hugged this filthy pillow as if it was a treasure.
Ultimately, when Gu Hai saw that Bai Luo Yin was exceptionally tenacious in protecting that pillow, he took a step back.
“Okay, let’s do this. You can keep the pillow, just take the pillowcase off so I can wash it!”
“No, you can’t fucking take the pillowcase off either!”
“Don’t fucking give me this bullshit!”82 Gu Hai blared with a gloomy face as he attempted to snatch it while closely asking, “Are there some sort of adulterous things hidden in there? I must figure out what’s in there—today.”
“What the fuck! What kind of adulterous things would be inside a pillow?” Bai Luo Yin, too, became anxious.
This was the kind of person Gu Hai was. The more secretive you were, the more he would want to know what was being kept from him. If you had just taken off the pillowcase and thrown it on the floor, perhaps he would not have been that interested.
Bai Luo Yin also belonged to the type that was willful and stubborn. The more you want to look at it, the more I won’t let you.
As a result, the two clashed until the pillowcase ultimately tore apart causing the school uniform inside to fall out.
After picking up the uniform, Gu Hai did not utter another word.
Seeing this, Bai Luo Yin quickly conjured up an explanation as to uphold some face, “Since this pillow wasn’t high enough, I stuffed the uniform in there.”
With said pieces of clothing tightly clasped in his hand, Gu Hai walked toward Bai Luo Yin with a hint of complication dwelling in his eyes.
Once Gu Hai stood in front of him, Bai Luo Yin quickly cast a glance outside. Then, with a guilty conscience, he turned to face Gu Hai again. “Let me tell you, don’t you start being pretentious with me! There are always people walking around outside. It wouldn’t be good if someone sees us like this.”
Unexpectedly, Gu Hai’s fist simply ran into the pit of Bai Luo Yin’s stomach while his voice revealed the anger he could not conceal.
“As if I can be pretentious with you? You are lucky I didn’t give you two big slaps on your face! You would rather sleep with my uniform beneath your head than take the initiative to contact me? If only you’d realized sooner, would we have suffered so many years of pain?”
Bai Luo Yin firmly gripped Gu Hai’s fist before speaking in a sunken voice, “How was I supposed to know you were still thinking of me?”
Gu Hai gritted his teeth and nodded his head, “That’s right! I am just a fucking cold-blooded animal in your heart! You were the only one who loved deeply, you were the only one who endured the love silently. You’re such an affectionate person, an affectionately deranged lord! Are you satisfied now?”
“Gu Hai, don’t fucking speak to me with such sarcasm!”
Thus, the two launched into a campaign battle right beside the pile of trash. That was until the door was pushed open with a squeaking sound.
Liu Chong stood in the doorway with his crutches and watched as his idol was pushing his Major down on the bed. Without knowing the exact detail of the situation, a rather stunned expression slowly took hold of his face as his eyes were aimed straight toward the two people on the wooden planks of the bed.
With a glance at the person who had appeared before them, Bai Luo Yin simply pushed Gu Hai to the side. All the while, his face resumed the dignified appearance of a formidable leader.
“Why did you come in without knocking?”
Hearing those few simple yet compelling words, a sense of nervousness strained Liu Chong’s eyes, “I… I knocked on the door, but you didn’t seem to hear it.”
Bai Luo Yin maintained a cold and stern countenance. “Next time if I don’t hear, you should leave immediately!”
Somehow not quite deterred, Liu Chong merely scratched his head in an awkward manner and continued to say, “Last time, you said that if I knock and no one answers, I can just enter. I… which of your instructions should I listen to, exactly?”
Bai Luo Yin could sense the ominous air that began to percolate the room so in trying to uphold his authority, he narrowed his eyes and asked in return, “Did I actually say something like that to you before?”
At first, Liu Chong was struck with confusion, then he expended a great deal of effort to strike up a perfect military salute.
“Reporting to Major, you have never said that!”
With that, Bai Luo Yin patted the dust off his sleeves. “Okay, come in and sit down!”
Liu Chong surveyed his surroundings for a moment…there’s not even a single chair in here, where am I supposed to sit?
At first, Gu Hai thought that Liu Chong would be somewhat good at discerning the situation. That is, that he, upon seeing there was nowhere to sit, naturally would take his leave. But no, this bastard remained at the doorway, dawdling around for a good while before he very carefully moved across the room and sat down on the bedside between him and Bai Luo Yin. Not only did he do that, he even had the balls to raise his hand and greet him.
Hi, my fucking ass! Gu Hai roared mentally, you truly are a great soldier trained by Bai Luo Yin!
Bai Luo Yin poured a cup of water, intending to show his appreciation to Gu Hai for his free labor. But just as he passed over the cup of water, Liu Chong’s hand reached out to grab it.
“Thank you, Major.”
In that split second, Bai Luo Yin’s expression was showered with confusion.
“Do you come here often?” Gu Hai asked in an amicable manner and looked at Liu Chong.
First, Liu Chong turned to smile at Bai Luo Yin and then cautiously replied to Gu Hai’s question.
“Yes, lately I’ve been coming here regularly. Our Major is very kind and approachable. We can come and go as we please in his room and eat his food as well. Since I wasn’t able to go home this year, the Major was kind enough to bring me a lot of delicious food from his house and even brought them to my dorm. He also came to see me practically every day. I’m very moved.”
Gu Hai snorted and laughed, “I’m also rather moved!”
Frightened that Gu Hai did not believe him, Liu Chong incessantly emphasized, “Our Major’s personality and moral standing is excellent, and he is a business partner that is absolutely worthy of being trusted! He has always kept his word. You definitely won’t regret choosing to collaborate with us!”
Your Major was sleeping under my quilt last night. Does it look like I need you to tell me what kind of person he is? Gu Hai silently thought to himself as he clenched his teeth.
Bai Luo Yin thought that these two could not talk anymore; if they did, some mishaps were bound to happen. He had to think of every possible means to get rid of this chatterbox.
“Liu Chong, what exactly did you come here for?” Bai Luo Yin asked.
Liu Chong pursed his lips to drink a mouthful of hot water before he happily replied, “Nothing much, just here for a visit and to stay for a while.”
Stay for a while, stay for a while…
“Can’t you see that I’m tidying my room?”
Quickly standing up, Liu Chong said, “Major, I’ll also help you tidy up.”
Bai Luo Yin sympathetically looked at Liu Chong with his crutches at his side. “I don’t want to bother you. It’s better if you head back and have a good rest!”
A bright and cheerful smile rushed up Liu Chong’s face. “Then, I’ll leave first. Major, when my injury is all better, the two of us can fly a plane83 together!”
Bai Luo Yin nearly choked to death when he heard that sentence.
As for Gu Hai—the expression he wore could have easily been featured on a billboard for a horror movie.
“What he meant is: the two of us can join the air combat maneuver and fly an aircraft together.”
Just as Bai Luo Yin finished his explanation, he heard the sound of something falling by the doorway, immediately followed by a loud ‘ouch!’
Taking Liu Chong’s injury into consideration, Bai Luo Yin quickly rushed out for a look.
All Bai Luo Yin saw was Liu Chong getting up from the floor before embarrassedly looking at him. “My crutches… are broken.”
Gu Hai busied himself in Bai Luo Yin’s dorm for the entire day and by the time the sky was overtaken by a blanket of darkness, the room had changed beyond recognition. Without exception, all the large items were replaced with new ones. The fluffy and soft down feather comforter was as different as night and day from that damp and heavy comforter it had replaced. The desk had also been exchanged for a new one, with a hand warmer sitting on top and a foot warming pad beneath, while a hairdryer rested inside one of the drawers. To the side was a small tea table with brightly cleaned fruits along with peeled chestnut kernels…
In just an instant, Bai Luo Yin had changed from a commoner to an Emperor.
Before leaving, Gu Hai looked at Bai Luo Yin and repeatedly warned, “Remember what I said, don’t let anyone come into your room as they please, don’t buy any more junk food, and after washing your hair you must dry it. I will come here regularly to inspect, and if I find that you that violated any of these rules, I will punish you each time…”
“Okay, okay, I know.”
Bai Luo Yin impatiently agreed while pushing Gu Hai out the door.
81 Woven mat
82 我就不信這個邪了: Direct translation: “I don’t believe in this evil.” Gu Hai was implying, he cannot understand why it is such a sin to take off a pillow case …. So, he said he doesn’t believe this is evil. In other words, in pure English, I believe this is BS, what are you hiding ???????????????
83 “…fly a plane together!!” (打飛機 – dǎfēijī) is a slang for “masturbate”. Liu Chong is literally saying the sentence innocently but consequently, he’s saying, “the two of us can masturbate together!”]