Difficulties for Groom Gu
Translate: Nancy | Edit: Sae
Along the way, Yan Ya Jing’s bicycle constantly swerved all over the place, causing her to nearly collide into Tong Zhe’s several times. Fortunately, there was enough distance between the front and the back of the bicycles, otherwise, a rear to rear pile up just like a dominoes effect would have occurred. Since she was little, this young lady had never touched a bicycle; having always had a chauffeur taken her to and from school until she grew old enough to drive herself. As a result of such an upbringing, it was inevitable that she learned how to ride a bicycle on the spot, with the person she almost crashed repeatedly appointed as her teacher.
After a few times of nearly being hit, the person beside could no longer take it.
“Hey, someone else is getting married, what are you all excited about?”
Yan Ya Jing shot a glare at Tong Zhe; as a result, she lost her concentration, and for someone who did not have a good riding skill, she crashed roughly into Tong Zhe. With the roughness this time around, even the handlebar became crooked. Behind them, countless bicycles came to a halt and waited until the two adjusted their bicycles. However, the main bicycle squad that was leading the entire convoy at the front was nowhere to be seen.
“Crap…” Yan Ya Jing turned to look at Tong Zhe, “Do you know the way to the military base Bai Luo Yin is stationed at?”
Tong Zhe’s expression said it all—he had never been there before.
Just as Yan Ya Jing was sullen with distressed, she suddenly had a bright idea and switched on the navigator attached to the front of the bicycle.
After that, she looked at Tong Zhe with self-satisfaction and said, “How’s that? Isn’t the navigator device produced by the team that I led particularly useful?”
Tong Zhe sneered coldly, “It’s so-so.”
“Just so-so? This is our country’s first independently-researched and developed bicycle navigation device.”
With that said, she proudly got back on the bicycle and took the lead. Tong Zhe followed behind only to see her lithe body and buttocks sway from side to side. He still remembered as a young kid in school, the teacher had asked the students: “If you had the opportunity to change into anything, what would you want to change into the most?” While most of the answers were: superman, sword, dolls and etc; only Tong Zhe had said he wanted to change into the seat on a girl’s bicycle.
Meanwhile, Bai Luo Yin and a few hundreds of soldiers sat in the barrack waiting for the sounds of car honks. But after waiting for an nth number of hours, there was still no sign of anyone. With a distance of 80 kilometers, an escorting squad that comprised of only bicycles would certainly need to put forth great efforts in order to pass through such a laborious journey. No matter how fit our Master Gu’s physical endurance was, it would still take at least three to four hours to get to the destination.
Looking at the watch, it was already past seven o’clock, I hope they already left, otherwise they will be caught in the morning rush hour.
While in the midst of thoughts, he suddenly heard the sound of bells ringing simultaneously.
Hearing that, Bai Luo Yin opened the curtains to look outside only to be stunned by the sight before him—Gu Hai was riding an old and worn out bicycle, perspiring profusely on the seat. That bicycle had truly tormented him to exhaustion. Not to mention the missing pedals, even the chains had fallen off for the nth times on the voyage here; only one bright-red tanghulu remained from all the bright red tanghulus that were stuck in the backseat.
Regardless of all that, Gu Hai was still charming and irresistible as he whistled and smiled at Bai Luo Yin with squinted eyes.
“Get on, Ge will take you to the wedding chapel.”
Ten years ago, Gu Hai had ridden that very bicycle to the front door of Bai Luo Yin’s house and said the words: “Get on, Ge will take you to school.” With that one abrupt decision, he got on the back seat of Gu Hai’s bicycle which started the ill-fated relationship of ten long years. Now after those ten years, Gu Hai has once again come before Bai Luo Yin. However, this time, he said he will take him to the wedding chapel.
Bai Luo Yin felt all sort of emotions welled up within his heart, yet he couldn’t help but to use the same tone to ridicule him.
“…with that broken bicycle? It will fall apart if I get on it.”
Gu Hai laughed, “You’re on your feet, but still have the time to look down on a person riding a bicycle?”
The conversation from that year repeated once again with not a word absent; neither had practiced for this exchange or thought hard to remember it. Ever since the two had appeared in each other’s lives, it was already destined to be significant and extraordinary.
While Bai Luo Yin was still lingering in the feeling of being emotionally touched and have yet to return to his sense, he was dragged back inside by a couple of large hands. Immediately after, seven to eight heads crowded at the front door, all trying to speak simultaneously.
“It’s apparent that you are not taking our Regiment Commander seriously!!”
“That’s right! You expect to fool our Regiment Commander away with this broken bicycle?”
“Did you think our base is a salvaging station? What made you think you can come here with such a broken and cheap bicycle!”
Bai Luo Yin wanted to explain to everyone on behalf of Gu Hai, but in the end, he was never given a chance to insert any words. Being used to suffering all types of abuses, these soldiers will do everything they can to make things difficult no matter what; especially since they finally ceased a prince with such a high authority to go against.
“Yell out ten nicknames that you use for our Regiment Commander; one less will not suffice.”
The moment Bai Luo Yin heard that, he became anxious. How can this type of demand be asked? Wasn’t that obviously going to put him to shame?Unfortunately, he had been helplessly pushed to the innermost area of the spot and was heavily surrounded by over a dozen men. No matter what he yelled out, apart from the people beside him, no one else could be heard.
“Shhh, stop shouting! He’s starting to talk now, so everybody has to listen carefully. If it doesn’t sound good, he’s not allowed to come in!”
By now, Bai Luo Yin wished to find a hole in the wall and crawl inside.
“Yin Zi! Baobei’er…”
Just as the word “baobei” sounded, the place became ebullient as the group of soldiers laughed wildly! Baobei? How can our most admired, most revered and most insufferably arrogant Bai Tuanzhang actually allow someone to call him baobei?
“Little slut, little kinky wench…”
Bai Luo Yin roared in embarrassment. “Gu Hai, that’s enough!!”
The soldiers laughed loudly and continued with their encouragement. “Keep going, keep going, we are more than happy to hear it!”
Bai Luo Yin sighed in grievance toward the sky. Fuck, I’ve met the wrong people! Why did I pick a group of idiots to support me?
After all, ten nicknames were shouted out, the soldiers turned to ask Bai Luo Yin. “Bai Tuanzhang, he has finished saying the nicknames, should we let him in?”
As if Bai Luo Yin would allow him in? He felt utterly disgraced.
“Our Bai Tuanzhang said that the answers for this question were unsatisfactory, so he doesn’t want to let you in. How about this, you can answer a few more of our questions? If you’re correct, we can reconsider about letting you in.”
With that said, the first question burst out without warning.
“What color underwear is Bai Tuanzhang wearing today?”
Just as that question was asked, Bai Luo Yin interrupted. “That question is too simple.”
Indeed, Gu Hai responded without even thinking. “Light grey boxer shorts.”
Some men pulled Bai Luo Yin’s pants down just a few centimeters to reveal the edge of the underwear, validating Gu Hai’s exact description. It goes without saying, did you know? All of Bai Luo Yin’s underwear were bought and washed by Gu Hai. If he was asked how many threads were on the underwear, Gu Hai could probably answer it fluently.
“No, no, that question was too easy. We are going to ask you another one. How much does our Bai Tuanzhang weigh? You have to be exact and it won’t do if even a gram is off.”
Gu Hai responded in a deep voice, “He weighs 73.03kg with no clothes on.”
Just as the words dropped, a group of men pushed Bai Luo Yin onto the scale and took off his clothes and shoes, leaving only that important pair of underwear which was ignored. When they looked at the display, my god, it really was not two or even one gram short.
“Bai Tuanzhang, let him in!” Liu Chong, who was standing to the side, was so touched that he could not cope anymore.
Surprisingly, Bai Luo Yin did not let up. “How can that type of question be considered anything? Bring on the more difficult questions.”
Thereafter, even more, mischievousness came.
“Please answer, what is the length and width of Bai Tuanzhang’s face, the distance between his brows, the height of his nose bridge and the length of his chin.”
The second the question was asked, the crowd was in complete awe. That was just too ruthless!
Unexpectedly, Gu Hai merely responded with confidence. “His face is 20.3cm in length, 12.7cm in width, with 3.6cm in between his brows, 1.3cm in height for his nose bridge and 3.3cm in length for his chin.”
Immediately after, a group of soldiers gathered around Bai Luo Yin. One of them pulled out a ruler and started to measure each facial feature that was mentioned, and with every measurement, he compared the numbers to Gu Hai’s answers. When he was finally finished with the comparison, everyone in there starred in bewilderment.
However, with such a startling revelation, someone retaliated against the questioner. “Did you collude with him?”
The questioner’s expression was stricken with injustice, “I just met him today!”
Even Bai Luo Yin was surprised. When did Gu Hai measure me? How come I didn’t even know?
Gu Hai’s ability to answer the questions fluently without hesitation gave those soldiers’ a strong desire to challenge him. Another man stepped forward and asked a question that was in defiance of the natural order. “How many pubic hairs does Bai Tuanzhang have?”
When the sentence ended, the crowd immediately gave him a beating. “Kid, you’re too evil. I only thought about it, but you actually have the fucking balls to ask!”
Hearing that, Bai Luo Yin’s face was green with rage. Are you all trying to rebel against me?
“Bai Tuanzhang, why are you so worked up? We were only joking, he definitely won’t be able to answer that.”
“That’s right, hahaha…”
After the crowd calmed down, Gu Hai actually replied with a number. Whether that number was correct or not, perhaps only Bai Luo Yin was aware.
“We don’t believe it, we have to examine it!” Someone proclaimed, creating clamorous sounds that resonated from the inside.
Unexpectedly, even when Gu Hai was faced with X numbers of difficult questions before, he had remained calm without an ounce of anger. However, he instantly exploded just as those words were said.
“If you dare to take his pants off, try me!”
“Fine, we will try it then!”
A group of mischievous soldiers banded together and continued to banter and bluster; their behaviors were unbearably haughty. Unfortunately for Gu Hai, his large wedding force had not yet arrived. Without any other option, he had to fight the battle single-handedly and desperately protect his territory from being invaded.
Witnessing that, Bai Luo Yin’s heart truly ached for him. He stood behind the group of soldiers and yelled in anger, “You all can let him in!”
“Let him in?” Liu Chong spoked mightily, “We all feel that he is too wicked and extremely unreliable. Honestly, we’re only worried about handing you over to him. Don’t you all think so?”
With that, all of them responded in agreement.
My ass, am I the groom or are you guys the groom? Are you supposed to obey me or am I supposed to obey you all? Bai Luo Yin also participated in the battle.
Thereafter, the battle array of escorting the groom turned into two grooms being besieged by a crowd of soldiers. The two wanted to be together but were separated by a brooding scene of chaos. That was until a red sea of fire appeared from far in the east.
The group of soldiers all quietened down; no one dared to fool around as their eyes stared straight ahead, without so much a blink.
A bicycle force that was one kilometer long arrived one after another at the training ground, and like the blazing red flame, they started to expand. Those beautiful faces were like lovely and beauteous peony flowers, each and every one contending for supreme beauty.
There are 999 beautiful women! With a total of only 99 people here, each person can get 10 if they were to divide evenly!